D-pression.... wanna be stuntin like my daddy again!

Dammmmmmmn! Destroyed my back and have been stuck in bed for like 4 days... it's the WORST!!!!! need to get better soon.... was supposed to go on a 28 day pre-vegas workout but that's been put on hold which is ballllllllllls! tv tonite: we got more playoff action: both nhl and nba.... canadiens vs caps game 7.... o man i am hopin montreal can pull this one off!!! modern family is also on at 9...dope show....would be amazing!!! Here's a life update from me followed by the chiddy bang opposite of adults

Oh! and in addition, i have found such a BRO site.... fuckin bomb, jokes site that makes me cry my own tears from laughing so hard....last time someone made me cry my own tears was in titanic when the old lady dropped the jewelry into the ocean at the end.... check out Bros Like This Site .

Bro of the Week! April 26th, 2010

I have decided that I need to have some weekly segments on this awesome blog to make it even more awesome and consequently, result in a larger fan base. More fans means I feel cooler and when I feel cool, I can fly. When I can fly - its like Kevin Garnett and the NBA - anything is possible!

My first weekly instalment will take place every Sunday or Monday and it is going to be the bro of the week! Anyone that acts extremely bro during the given week is eligible to win this weekly praise! It is probably one of the highest honours in the brommunity and to be nominated for bro of the week is truly a remarkable accomplishment. This week, we have 3 winners of the bro of the week award!

1)

Erick Buhr - definition of a bro who loves to chay: guy is out there lookin for slampieces, getting b.o.d., listening to ill music, saving lives when necessary. Buhr went out of his way to save a bros life this weekend from a fire and even got a fireman to pretend he was Peter Pan when talking to a bro who was passed out in a smoking room. If that's not enough to earn bro of the week, how about his ability to tell bedtime stories! The guy comes into a room and starts going into his English presentation voice on the biblical stories of Samson and David and Goliath... mad effin jokes.... if that's not enough, when the subject changed to life stories he definitely set the standard for jokes story of the week... you have to get him to tell you the story or get him to give me permission to tell the story cuz the witnesses were definitely in tears!

2) Joakim Noah

A bro is someone that is willing to say whatever is on his mind and not giving a fuck about what other people think! Noah definitely knows what to say and when to say it. I mean losing to Cleveland sucks so why not rip into them with your mouth and motivate your team.... seems to have worked as the Bulls won game 3!

3) Nic Cage and the cast of Kick-Ass

Nic Cage (yes he's so bad ass that i have made his name infinite cooler by making it Nic minus the k) is a superhero in real life and this movie helped further prove that. He is the defintion of a bro and the rest of the characters helped make this movie the funniest movie so far in 2010. I wasn't expecting much heading in but have recommended this movie to everyone since seeing it! Man that 13 year old girl is so friggin bro too.... Any kid that curses like that, beats the shit out of bad guys like its her job, and is willing to take three gun shots to a bullet proof vest for a scoop of ice cream is mega bro! Go see this movie and you'll see why the cast has been awarded for bro of the week!

Press Release

You know you lookin at a winnnnnnaaaaa!!!! I feel like I cannot miss! SO jus pass me the ball! Alright it is official! I am going to vegas in 4 weeks and am mad pumped for it! Gonna own the strip and make others bow down in the presence of greatness! I got four weeks to get my body re-ripped up like Rambo to make an impression on that town. Right now I rate myself as a 7.36 out of 10 in terms of how good my beach bod is lookin but by the time I get down there it'll be a 9.7... Imabe jersey shorin it down there in my beater shirts and ed hardy shorts everyday! lookin forward to it! Imabe partying all nite but plan to be down at the pool by 9am every mornin to catch some sun and then hit the gym for an hour right before lunch...But yo! I am mad excited! If you have any activities for me to do get at me! I wanna hear places you've been that are bomb!

The Difference Between Man Rape vs Bro Rape

Exciting news! Dave Chappelle is back and doing stand up! Guys fuckin funny.... in the following clip he explains to us the whole problem with man rape.... In the second clip... we watch a documentary on a "bro" rape.... a little bit different but still friggin hilarious....

For all you 420 people.... happy 420... trippy history of weed!

Babbbbbby nooooooo!

K there actually is no point to this vlog but it's pretty funny... I need more important subjects to talk about.....Enjoy... please send me some topics to vlog about!

Check out this lebron block breakdown!

How To Look and Feel Like a Champ!

Ok so last night I was supposed to go to Luxy and fist pump like a champ! Instead I did the most unbro thing and spent a little too much time with the Captain and did not make it out.... ballllllz.... yayayya, it happens to the best of us.... I did make a vlog before I was supposed to go out... didnt turn out as well as I wouldve liked but you can definitely get tips from me if you want to look and feel like a champ

NBA Playoffs Start Today

Boiiiiiiiiiiii I am sooo excited for the playoff this season (yes, even though the raptors are out I still am mad excited).... First round is so intriguing in the West.... but i think the way the matchups were set, the top 4 seeds all seem to have the better shot of winning.... I am like everyone leaning to a Cleveland LA final but it wouldnt surprise me to see any of the top 4 seeds in each conference in the finals.... I could definitely see a Boston Denver final too. Take a look at these videos!

THose give me chills! What are your predictions?

The Most Bro Kid in the world hands down and The Definition of the "F" Word

Originally I was just going to post the vid of the definition of the f word but i saw such an amazing story i had to share. Penn State University raises money each year to help fight childhood cancer through an event called "THON" which is a 46 hour dance a thon (raised $8mill for the cause). As the event was winding down, this little bro, Tucker Haas, gets on stage with a sideways hat and all his bling in front of 15,000 people and starts belting out BOOM BOOM POW by the Black Eyed Peas and everyone in the arena lights up and starts bumpn again! He was diagnosed with cancer when he was 2 and was able to get cancer free 3 years ago! Check him out... hes so fuckin bro!

This is pretty old but it always makes me chuckle.... I now know all the different ways the "f" word can be used.

Backkkkk To Basics!

So I am a little bit rusty but David's back - tell your friends! So I decided it was time to re-vlog again.... I haven't done it in a while... had to shake the cobwebs off.... I am still a really funny person and you'll see it after you watch this vlog!

Check out the second single from Travie's new cd featuring Ke$ha... two of my favorite ppl tag teaming this song! Also - David Guetta and AKon have tag teamed for another song! Somewhat similar to Sexy Bitch - amazing song... its called Party Animal... chek it!

Songs Bros Love to Hate (but secretly love)

Alright, everyone has guilty pleasure songs that they listen to but may bash when asked about it by their peers. I am pretty open when people ask me about songs but like I know there are tons of people out there that won't admit it. Here is a list of the top songs that bros love to hate but secretly love! I will identify the songs I have in one playlist with an asterisk (for those of you that do not know what an asterisk is, asterisk = *, multiple asterisks mean it is one of my favorites). As this blog was made, I kissed a girl by katy perry came on fyi and i mite have bieber fever (no homo).

The Playlist:

*"Party in the USA," Miley Cyrus

"You Belong With Me," Taylor Swift

"Body Language," Jesse McCartney featuring T-Pain

*"Evacuate the Dancefloor," Cascada

"Bottoms Up," Keke Palmer

"Rude Boy," Rihanna

****"Tik Tok," Ke$ha

****"Summer Girls," LFO

*"Toxic," Britney Spears

*"Poker Face," Lady Gaga

*"Liquid Dreams," O-Town

"With You," Jessica Simpson

***"I Kissed a Girl," Katy Perry

*"Bye, Bye, Bye," N’Sync

"My Life Would Suck Without You," Kelly Clarkson

"I Want It That Way," Backstreet Boys

****"Baby," Justin Bieber

*"Dirrty," Chrsitine Aguilera

"Independent Women Part 1," Destiny’s Child

"Bitch," Meredith Brooks

*"Lady Marmalade," Christine Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya, Pink

"It’s My Life," No Doubt

*"Hey, Soul Sister," Train

****"Ignition," R. Kelly

*"Someday," Sugar Ray

Is your Facebook addiction a sign of loneliness?

I read this article by Lisa Haisha who is a Hollywood therapist and helps people with addictions. She says that being on facebook more than one hour a day is too much. She says some people spend 20 hours per week on it.... I probably spend a lot more than that. Truth is (and I know this even though I am addicted) that as we spend more and more time on it, we begin to lose focus on other important parts of life. THe addiction to facebook is almost the same as the addiction to drugs, sex, or alcohol. You can actually get help from therapists for facebook addictions! Please read this article! It was a really good read and so truthful.... I might be in trouble....

This is the excerpt from the article I found most truthful and painful at the same time:

Of course, when you're lonely, you get depressed and you don't have the energy to spend your time wisely. You don't have a focus, because things aren't really happening in your life. Without focus, your goals are not in alignment and you don't know where you're going. You feel a sense of emptiness in yourself or in your relationships, and you live on Facebook in an attempt to fill some void of your life.

At first it's exhilarating, because you get to be an actor and live in your own temporary reality. But the more time you spend on Facebook, the more depressed and lonely you become, and you have to spend even more time online to eliminate those negative feelings. Eventually it's a vicious cycle that seems to have no way out.

Oh I love escaping to my virtual world - even if it is unhealthy

To make everyone happy about their internet addiction, I have added one of my favorite songs to this post! Let me know if you want to see these guys at Warped Tour this summer

No Homo!!!!

So I say no homo wayyyy too much.... Urbandictionary.com defines "no homo" as a "phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay. For example - "His ass is mine. No homo." It's said to show that a person is not gay after they say something that can be taken in a gay way... similar to that's what she said....

this video taught me the history of no homo and it's a little bit funny some of the stuff they include.

Everything is better in auto tune and New Cudi Track!

Hah I may or may not have been baked when watching this but it was effing awesome at the time! This vid was so funny back in the day not in auto tune but auto tune definitely makes everything wayyyyy better! FYI Download the I Am TPAIN app for your iphone for hours of excitement with autotune!

Check out this hot track by CUdi!!!!

Memories!!!! My Last Little Bit of Life

Sooooo recently I just learned how to use iMovie and I kind of had a lot of fun with it and got addicted to it. I kinda went through all my photos and videos and tried making a fun video that I thought showed off the last few years of my life.... After watching it a few times, i'm like this is really good but it looks like something that would be played at my funeral. If I partied with you in the last 5 years odds are you made it into this video... It is a bit long but I hope you enjoy it!

Carpooling Win! or Fail

How many people can you fit in a car?! These guys try to break the record... unintentionally...

The Dance Floor Boner and Most Inappropriate Children's Toys

Wow! As if i found an article on this subject - and to make it even better... it's probably one of the funniest articles I have ever read. Apparently a dance floor boner can be referred to as one or all of the following: cha-cha chubbie, grind appreciation indicator, polka porkies, salsa stiffies, and tango twigs. Those in themselves are just hilarious! If a bro gets a dance floor boner he can just sing the "Pledge of Allegiance" in his head which could bore the big guy downstairs... Read this article and laugh

K, this site lists the 11 most inappropriate kids toys of all time. Please watch the videos for number 1 and number 3.... as if someone thought those were good ideas...

Craigslist Fun!

So I found this site called emails from an asshole where some dude replies to peoples adds on craigslist and posts the emails. He basically just fucks with them and has really funny email conversations that make me laugh or chuckle.

As a result, I got my thinking cap on and created my own craigslist ad in the hopes of having people respond - or get a chuckle out of my serious post... I doubt anyone will respond to me but I was pretty much honest about myself although I did not put my name down and I wouldn't really speak to these people but I figured why not have a little fun with this.... I'll let you know if i get any replies.

You can see my ad here

The COOLEST video I have ever seen!

I love New York City and I love being reminded of old skewl video games. This video is one of the coolest things I have seen and it is titled "Pixels". Watch it and enjoy. It is a 2 minute short film made by Patrick Jean.

What to do this weekend?

Well - that is a very good question. First things first, Tiger Woods will go for his fifth green jacket at the Masters this weekend and he is already in contention. If you haven't already seen the new Nike commercial, take a look at it... I don't know what to think of it.

If you are thinking of heading to the movies, you HAVE to see Date Night. This movie I have been waiting to come out since the first preview where I learned the term "kill shot". Now, besides 40 Year Old Virgin, Steve Carrell movies usually aren't that good but this one looks killer funny! And it's good a pretty good cast! And Mila Kunis is in it! She is probably my celebrity girl right now... Check out the trailer!

The New Facebook

Straight up - I am ADDICTED to social media. I LOVE facebook, twitter, myspace, and anything related to social media. I have recently found the newest and biggest thing in the USA called Foursquare.

Foursquare is going to be the new facebook. What you need is a login name, a smartphone (works if you have any cell phone but smartphones are better), and you need to be addicted to social media! What you do is you open the app on your phone and "check-in" to places that you visit.

You also get "badges" for visiting a certain number of places in a day to show you are social. You can also see where your friends are who update their foursquare account. The site allows you to keep stats of where you have been and share it with your friends. It seems really cool - EXCEPT none of my friends have foursquare. I am saying go online to www.foursquare.com and download the app for your phone, add me as a friend and try it out.

One of the things that's cool about Foursquare is that if you and your friends are like "where'd we go last Thursday?" YOu can just go onto your foursquare and be like "oh yea! That was mint!" It can also be linked to your facebook and twitter accounts so you can post updates to these sites.

Check out this article on foursquare from msnbc.com. This is where I found out about the site and really like it!

Let's see if we can get this big because it does seem cool. You can also be rewarded by businesses if you visit a certain place a certain number of times.

For all the 80s babies

This is for all the 80s babies - from the age of nintendo

Transformers, ninja turtles, hungry hippos

GI joes, phot, cant forgot the clothes

kangaroos with the zipper had a couple those

(Thats def gym class lyrics...) Listen to Catch Me if you can here .

I found this list of hottest 80s toys from the time frame where we were born in.... I remember most of these and loved these... creepy crawlers were the bomb - and dr dreadful food lab?!?!? omgsh goooooood friggin times!

Check out what else made the list here!

Ladies, were you smart in university? You might be in trouble in your future....

A recent study has been done that has found that women that went to university and scored particularly well as a student are more than twice as likely to suffer from alcoholism. The London School of Economics carried out this test and their results were that "the more educated women are, the more likely they are to drink alcohol on most days and to report having problems due to their drinking patterns." Further, women who tend to have high marks are 2.1 times more likely to drink daily as adults. Now, one reason for this might be that they are in school until a later age and ultimately postpone the responsibilities of being a parent , leaving them with a more social life. Another explanation is that the university education usually leads to entering a male-dominated industry where drinking is a strong part of culture and consequently, they have to drink more.

Women with a university degree were 86% more likely to drink on a daily basis in comparison with those without one. Just be careful my smart lady friends! "People who abuse alcohol face a higher risk of suffering from health problems including cancer, liver cirrhosis, lung and cardiovascular disease, and mental and behavioural issues." To read the report, click here .

Another interesting article I found is that they are trying to create an alcohol substitute that allows you to feel inebriation from the alcohol but the hangover and drunkenness can be turned off by a pill. The whole purpose of the pill is to "turn off" the feeling of inebriation so people can "drive home or go to work". That sounds a little too crazy to me. But, if this does work, there are so many positive aspects that will come out of this. First, the purpose of this new alcohol will be to replace the current alcohol which is made up of ethanol and this ethanol could be sold as fuel. Second, in England, there were more than 800,000 alcohol-related admissions to the hospital in 2007 and 2008 - 6,500 were deaths and it cost the country 2.7 billion pounds.

This is still a long ways away, but the idea is there and there is the technology to make this happen. Kind of an interesting read. Click here for article .

This is

The Bible

OK - lately I have found myself reading the actual holy bible to try and find answers to questions about life.... why? I don't really know.. maybe I have the urge to read something thats been around forever.... maybe it's the fact that I took it from a hotel room and said that I would make sure I read it soon and haven't been able to start... I really dont know. It's weird - I'm Jewish and its the Christian bible. I am not really a religious fanatic. I am not depressed - although I do have to try and reaccomplish my 3 new years goals again (drop 15 pounds, get swagger back, and be the best - dont worry they will be done very shortly).

But, I find myself being sidetracked lately looking at a different bible... the Brobible... This site has kept me busy the past few weeks and has given me some of my amazing posts recently. I laugh everytime I go on that site. Today, I want to share 2 of the things posted that made me laugh: Beer Pong Catch Phrases and You Got Iced. You have to read all of the comments left by people and their account names.

The beer pong one - i've heard pretty much everything in my experience at the table but two of them just got me good...

Calling out walmart after you and your partner sink it in the cups so they roll them back.. just like walmart and their prices... i know its corny but its sooo flippin funny! imagine just saying to ur partner walmart that shot bro (or ho)

WHen you only have one cup remaining, you have your partner ask you who your favorite rapper is and then, right as you are about to shoot, you turn your head, and in the most aggressive game face voice say "The Game" - that is mint... but you have to hit it or else you look silly.

Anyways check out these Beer Pong Catch Phrases .

You Got Iced seems so jokes. This game is spreading pretty fast in the States and like is being done all over colleges and I wish I was still in school so I could do it. Basically, the whole point of the game is to present your bros with a Smirnoff Ice in any manner and once presented, the bro has to get on one knee and chug that (while you take a photo with your phone and put it on facebook).

There are 2 rules of the game:

1) You cannot refuse an ice. If you refuse to drink the ice you are instantly excommunicated and shunned, and thus can never ice another bro or be iced.

2) If you are iced by a fellow bro you can ice block. When presented w/an ice, you pull out an ice of your own and reverse the ice on your bro. The ultimate ice insult.

Now some people may ask, why does it have to be a Smirnoff Ice? And the answer is that like for guys chugging beers is seen as legit and cool and you are required to do that. When being presented with a Smirnoff Ice, probably the most feminine alcoholic beverage after a Strawberry Daiquiri, it is seen as an insult to your manhood. It's definitely the ultimate humiliation to any bro to be seen chugging a Smirnoff Ice and the bro will have to plan a better way to get his buddy back next time. The funniest one I heard about was when someone put a Smirnoff Ice in the shower next to his bros shampoo so when the bro saw it in the shower he had to chug that feminine drink. The game is all about finding different ways to "ice" your bros.

Read this for the complete post on the game.

Real World Gambit

Ok back in the old school X-men cartoon days, Gambit was by far my favorite character, hands down. The way he just threw those ace of hearts cards was like the most dope thing in the world. I always wanted to be able to take a card and just throw it and blow stuff up. Well, next time I am looking to find a new hobby, I might practice that art because it is possible! YOu gotta check this crazy guy out! Absolutely insane!

Michael Borgia, this one's for you

One of my most loyal supporters and followers has been trying to piece together the puzzle of life. He took one step closer to solving that puzzle by popping the big question to his girlfriend who said yes! So, to that, I say congratulations Michael Borgia and Tamara Carnegie. I wish you all the best and believe you guys are going to embark on a wonderful journey together! Now, I am used to giving speeches and saying beautiful words to people but for this I have actually turned to a quote I found on the Internet stated by Evelyn Duvall: "The kind of marriage you make depends upon the kind of person you are. If you are a happy, well-adjusted person, the chances are your marriage will be a happy one." You are one of the happiest people I know and I am sure things are going to be truly amazing for you! So in honour of your accomplishments, I raise my glass to you and say "congratulations! You are very lucky to have someone so special! All the best!"

Chatroulette Handbook

By now, you probably have heard the newest craze – that is, chatroulette. Urbandictionary.com defines it as “A live streaming website where you connect with completely random strangers with a webcam and microphone. Every other person you connect to is a horny dude wanking, or if you're a chick, you are asked to see your tits. You disconnect when you want and keep talking if the person's chill.” Odds are, you will be shown 15 creepy dudes or dicks before you see a person or group of people you feel are worthwhile talking to yet the wait is most often well worth it. The game gets addicting because after you find a user that is cool, you want to find another that is cooler or game to play chatroulette.

To help you understand chatroulette and make the most of your experience, I have compiled a list of rules and games that you may want to try and explain situations that you are most likely to encounter.

RULES:

Rule #1) NEVER PLAY CHATROULETTE SOBER – if you do, then straight up, you are a loser. However, as more and more people begin to find out about it, I feel that playing sober may become cool one day. Currently, the game is not meant to be taken seriously and if you go on looking to talk to other people while sober you are asking for punishment and are a serious horny creeper that is going to get jizzed on by 800 dicks in a period of 30 minutes. You need to have some sort of substance in your system to make you feel less awkward and creepy. Petrone or some other form of tequila is usually a great drink to make this game exciting and more enjoyable. Other acceptable drinks include, kamikazee shots, ed hardy vodka, or imported beer.

Rule #2) NEVER PLAY CHATROULETTE ALONE – the only people that play chatroulette alone are dudes with their dicks out, sleepy dudes that are shirtless just wanting to see tits from North America and creepy dudes from Australia that are taking a day off from rugby and ready to “oy oy oy” in the virtual realm. Straight up don’t play alone – you’re asking for trouble. Ok maybe there are some interesting people that play by themselves, but that's based on the law of averages - your bound to find some outliers when 180 million people are playing.

Rule #3) IT IS MUCH BETTER TO PLAY WITH FEMALES – females make the chatroulette game work. Rarely, does a female get F9’d and if she does, the males can give the female a long, accentuated “ohhhhhhh” to inform the female that she just got burned by a creep on chatroulette and give her an “ego check” after being asked to see her tits from the previous 30 pervs. Just imagine the joy you get out of seeing one of your lady friends getting F9’d by a creepeirdo (yes a creepeirdo, a mix between a creep and a weirdo). But, besides that, girls let you play with the dudes on the other end and fuck with their minds (is there anything more fun than being able to fuck with someone’s mind and know that there is nothing they can do in return, except maybe F9 you?).

Check out this video on some research some guy did about chatroulette showing the difference between the 3 genders: males, females, and perverts.

Biggest tip I can give guys is that you have to be original if you want people to chat with you. You got to where interesting clothing, have props, or do something exciting that will keep the other party wanting to talk to you.

Girls, you just need to show up and tease the guys. They will be coming up with things to impress you with - just sit back, enjoy it, and laugh it off. Wearing low cut shirts will ensure that you will rarely get nexted.

Things to do on Chatroulette to make it interesting

1) Punking people - too much fun to play with people's minds. Best thing to do is have multiple people present, including one or several girls. Best to have the girls in front of the camera in low cut shirts. 77.243432% of the males on chatroulette are just there to see tits so have the females ask to the males "if they wanna c tits?" Obviously they'd say yes (and potentially lick their lips). Slowly have the females begin to get closer and fake like they are going to show and then zoom the webcam on one of your male friend's tits. Begin to zoom out so the person on the other end can see that they have just been punk'd and was licking their lips to man boobs. Type in the word "punk'd" and click F9.

2) Use an instrument- you can become a youtube sensation by playing an instrument or singing to the person on the other end of the line. First, you can make funny observations about the other person's disfigurements or flaws. Second, if you are good, people are going to want to stay around and listen to what you have to say. Third, you will have a great story and might become a legend on the internet.

This guy became an Internet sensation because of his singing and instrumental brilliance.

3) Search for celebrities- celebrities have become your average chatroulette player lately. You could randomly search for a famous person until you find one. Check out these screenshots of celebs playing chatroulette.

4) Chatroulette drinking game- make a drinking game for chatroulette. Some ideas include take a shot everytime you see a dick, when a female shows up on the other end chug until she F9s you, drink when you see someone playing by themselves, etc. You can make up your own rules but have fun with it. There is actually a facebook group with an "official chatroulette drinking game"

Facebook Chatroulette drinking game

I hope everyone has fun playing this game and looks for me on it very soon!

NBA Ball

So the first NBA Playoffs commercial has come out and the theme song is the one I figured it would be. Jamie Foxx, TI, and JT's Winner. This commercial is sooo sick because as good as the Cavs and Lakers are this season, there are so many teams that have a chance and they go through all of them.... it just gets me super excited for the playoffs!!!

In the East, I have to go with the Cavs beating the Magic and in the West I think I have to go with the Lakers over the Suns. But the West changes everyday... I love how exciting it is.

Ok - I was gonna end it there but I just saw this video... you gotta see what this kid does everyday for 4 hours.... crazy player!

The Simple Truths of Life

So a family member showed this to me today and I really enjoyed it. A few simple words, and truths, about life and all it has to offer. Really got me thinking of where I've been, who I am, and what I am going to do with my life.

It's 3 minutes long - take a few minutes and enjoy!

10 Signs You Should Unfriend Someone on Facebook

Hah, please do not unfriend me after reading this... i found it in cosmo lol

1. She’s a firm believer that you can learn a lot about your health from your poop — and has the status updates to prove it.

2. You’ve only met him once but he “likes” everything you do on Facebook. Uh, stalk much?

3. You’re pretty sure she doesn't wear her dress and veil every day, but the girl can’t stop posting pics from her wedding two years ago.

4. He changed his relationship status to single instead of breaking up with you in person.

5. One word: Farmville.

6. She might not be on The Biggest Loser but for some reason she wants the entire world to know what she had for lunch, how many miles she just ran, and when she is sweating it out at the gym.

7. She has a photo album of your days as a teen beauty pageant queen, a scanner, and a passion for tagging.

8. EVERY WORD HE WRITES IS IN CAPS AND USUALLY FOLLOWED BY TONS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!

9. “So-and-So added you as a friend on Facebook” is the most you’ve heard from him in 10 years. Now that you’ve accepted the request you still haven’t connected.

10. You call her Mom.

The 10 Types of Guys At the Party

Weekly Ten: The 10 Types of Guys at the Party

I found this from a site and it gave me a laugh because I think I have passed for all ten of these different types of guys at a party. That's what makes parties (and alcohol) so much fun is that you can be whoever you want and most people will either laugh at you or not know who you are. It's always fun getting hit with a label from a party... It's happened to me - new names every time I go out and I love it... Funny stories are definitely worth the expensive bill you paid to get as crunked as possible. Read this list and let me know who you think you are!

We’ve all been at the sticky-floored keggers, so here’s a rundown of the ten types of dudes you’ll find at these parties. Every single party. Every single time. Print this out and bring it to the next frat/house party to check these guys off as you see them. You can even turn it into a drinking game, taking shots as they pass. Although, on second thought, that might be a one-way ticket to alcohol poisoning.

10. The Loner Stoner Sometimes accompanied by a few of their kind, this person will continually ask for weed (even when he has it the whole time) and the only goal of the night, despite the party going on around him, is to get baked, blast music and maybe flick on the TV to catch some “Planet Earth.” They want everyone to just “chill out” and usually get into arguments about why pot is so much better/healthier/just totally sweet compared to alcohol.

9. “NEEDS” to get laid guy He’s only here for one reason: He. Wants. Ass. He’ll hit on you, all your friends and pretty much anyone with a set of boobs. If no one responds to this predator, he’ll complain loudly that all the girls at the party are ugly and lame and will proceed to text every female in his phone. Avoid like the plague. Pro? He’ll buy your drinks. Con? He won’t leave you alone until you go home with him. Where you’ll probably catch something.

8. Donnie Downer Moping and clutching a microbrew. Just try and start a conversation with this guy that doesn’t turn into something about how terrible his week is or some awful tragedy in the news. He’s also most likely bitching about the music and secretly wishing someone would put on some Bright Eyes. Points if you get him to admit he likes Brand New.

7. Game Runner This guy is super serial about beer bong, flip cup, or whatever card game is on. He is the self-proclaimed BEST at all games involving cheap beer and Solo cups. When he wins, everyone knows. When he loses, he’ll blame his teammates. He is el capitano and is definitely the one that started that absurd “beer pong sign up sheet.” Statements of note: “I play way better when I’m drunk,” “This one time, me and my buddy were playing pong,” “This one time, I was playing flip cup.” Yeah, you can see where this is going.

6. Booze Hound He might be sneaky about it, but this kid will put away every drop of alcohol given the opportunity. It might not even show, but the twelve pack that you bought? Gone. The handle of vodka in the freezer? Disappeared. The keg? Empty. His thirst for booze is never quenched. Bonus? Always down for shots. Hell yeah!

5. Couch Potato Anti social, pretending to text people when he’s really just checking baseball stats on his iPhone, permanently glued to the couch and only speaking when spoken to? Yup, that’s the party couch potato. He’ll drink his face off with the best of us, provided he doesn’t have to move. Even if he may or may not be interesting, his shyness and social ineptness is often mistaken for mystery.

4. The Douche Drunk and disorderly, the Douche is usually spotted with his hand on some girl’s ass, brawling in the street, shouting obscenities at everyone who walks in, or simply breaking everything in sight. Usually not the best person to send a Facebook invite to when you’re hosting a luau, unless you want a knife fight in leis.

3. Chain smoker “Does anyone want to go outside for a cigarette with me?” And then proceed to smoke two packs in under an hour? Blech.

2. Social whore Immediately friends everyone he meets at a party on Facebook. Points if he adds you on his Blackberry the moment he meets you. He knows “EVERYONE” and the “entire hockey/lacrosse/football team are at his parties.” Generally harmless, but don’t be fooled – he is just as much your best friend as he is everyone else’s.

1. “That Guy” Embodies all of the above and brings it to the most obnoxious level possible. Sweating through his polo and yelling profanities, “that guy” will manage to drink all the booze, get thrown out of multiple bars/parties, hit on every girl using ridiculous pick up lines, chain smoke someone else’s cigarettes, take huge bong hits, mess up the flip cup game, somehow control both the music and TV, break bottles and finally pass out in his own vomit after attempting to chug the contents of a ketchup bottle, believing it to be vodka. Props if you go home with “that guy.” Babysitting experience is a must.