What the EFF is Passover?

OK so let's be serious. I am fucking sauced right now and just finished my first passover seder in a few years. It was awesome to see the family, get bamboozled together, and learn a little bit about my culture that I have definitely not paid attention to lately. But as I was sitting down at my seder (and listening to what was being said), I still had questions as to why we celebrate this holiday. I really had no idea. I think it hit me when I posted on facebook that I wanted to play beer pong tonight and someone was like you can't drink beer over passover and I was thinking to myself why the fuck not.

I decided to do some research and find out what passover really was all about, besides the getting sloshed part and having my family explain to my dad what a vulva is (true story). So this site told me that passover is an eight day holiday that celebrates the Jewish people escaping slavery in Egypt from the Pharoah. It's all about Moses demanding to the Pharoah to let his people go or else the Egyptians would suffer the wrath of God. While the Jews were trying to escape Egypt they came to a body of water and it is said that Moses was able to split the sea and lead his people and then close it when the Egyptians enter and the Jews were safe. We eat matzah because when it was time to leave Egypt, we had to do it so fast that there was not enough time to let the bread leaven.

So now today, if you find yourself sitting at a passover table for the first time or don't remember what it's like to go to a Jewish gala, read this article here called What you can expect at the passover seder. The five things it discusses are so true (as I relearned tonight). As a Jew(ish) person, I really don't know too much about what happens at the seder but I try my best to follow along (especially with the drink count) and highly recommend you try too. My family is good because a lot of the stuff that is read we do in English so everyone can read along and jump in - it also makes sure no one feels left out. Watch out for passover food because truthfully, not everyone will like it (in fact some people may hate it). But the fact is that Jews love their food sooo much that their is going to be a lot of force-feeding and you may be forced to eat food that you don't really want to. My favorite part of this article was item #5 which states "wear something loose." There is going to be sooo much food that you will probably put on 8 pounds at a passover seder with food that is going to sit in your stomach.

Truthfully, enjoy the holiday. If you aren't going to eat a lot, make sure you drink a lot and enjoy the times! It is a really fun holiday and try to make the most of it with your family and friends!