10 Signs Your Girl is a Keeper

Thank you for this one brobible.....

So much talk is put into how to tell if the girl you’re with is crazy or psycho or if it’s time to break up with her. Well, although it may be far away, at some point in life, there comes a time when it’s time to find a broad and settle down with her. I’m sure most of you are dreading this day right now, but with the right girl, your wedding day won’t be all bad. At the very least, you still get to throw a kick-ass bachelor party. Since looking for qualities in a girl that go beyond whether or not you want to bang her will be a relatively new concept to most of us, here’s a list of things to look for in a girl — other than the lovey-dovey, you-complete-me bullshit — that could mean she’s the one to hang on to.

1. She’s hot.
This is a no-brainer. If you aren’t attracted to the woman who could be the mother of your children, there’s no point even being around her. Find your future MILF and happiness is sure to follow.

2. She cooks you breakfast.
Bros like to sleep in and Bros like to eat. A girl who is willing to get her ass out of bed and make breakfast for you will allow you to get some extra sleep and get a nice meal without any effort on your part. There’s nothing quite like waking up to the smell of fresh bacon. Bonus if she likes to cook in her lingerie.


3. She enjoys quality movies.
In this case, quality needs to fit your definition — for me, it’s comedies, action, and sports movies. One time I was at Best Buy with this girl, and was trying to explain to her the plot of Law Abiding Citizen, which was “this guy’s family gets killed, so he kills those killers and is still killing people from in jail,” and she was sold on the movie. Look for a girl like that; avoid the ones whose movie collections consist only of things like A Walk to Remember and P.S. I Love You.

4. She can drink, but can’t out drink you.
If you’re going to parties or other social events, it’s nice to have a girl who will drink whatever they have available, even if that means she’s going to be drinking some beer. However, once your girl starts out drinking you, you’re the one who’s doing the babysitting of the drunk, which is not fun. You will also look like a pussy in front of all of your Bros.

5. She understands sports and likes to watch them.
Following BroBible’s “My Dad is a Bro” contest, I’ve got to give my old man some credit here: ESPN is pretty much the only thing my mom watches, and she really enjoys hockey and lacrosse. On top of that, she actually knows what’s going on, but doesn’t try to be an expert, and doesn't freak out over minor plays. Now that’s a precedent for every Bro (and his girl) to follow.

6. She watches porn.
As long as it’s within moderation, a girl who watches porn is more likely to be willing to try new things in bed, know what to do in bed, and she definitely can’t get mad at you if she catches you watching porn. It’s a win-win situation for everybody.

7. She has her own group of friends.
Obviously you aren’t going to want to spend all your time with the same broad, no matter how amazing she is. There will be lots of times when you just want to go out with your Bros and if she doesn’t have her own friends to go out with, she’ll just text/call you and complain about how she’s lonely and misses you. No one wants a stage-5 clinger.

8. She doesn’t make you put ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook.
It’s your profile, not hers. If you want to put that you’re in a relationship with her for the whole world to see, that should be your call, not hers. The First Amendment gives you the right to leave that field blank and she should be more concerned about what’s going on in the real world, not about what your Facebook says.

9. She cleans.
Most likely, you’re a slob. Adding another slob to the mix would just be a disaster. You’re not going to change, and you shouldn’t, so the simple solution is to find a girl who will clean up your things for you. Added bonus if she decides to clean in a French maid outfit.

10. She likes your friends.
You and your Bros are going to do stupid stuff. The logical answer is to find a girl who accepts that and is okay with that. It’s also important for her to like your friends because they’re going to come over whether she likes it or not, and it’s just better if she likes it. Or, at least tolerates it with a smile.

In a perfect world, there would be a chick like this for everyone, but unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. There are far more Bros out there than there are girls who have all these traits. Having said that, there’s nothing wrong with not finding a keeper, and just finding one-nighter after one-nighter. If you’ve got any other traits of a keeper, add them to the comments below.

My Mock Draft | NBADraft.net

My Mock Draft | NBADraft.net

Bro of the week

Summer is here and things are starting to heat up! Bros are starting to get ready for the best time of the year for partying, chaying, and working game on the ladies....this weekend i played in two beach volleyball tournaments at ashbridges bay and i will be back there several times this summer.... such a good spot to be at......anyways, this is bro of the week not "where did dvdbonan go this weekend" so lets get down to it.... this week we got three bros that stood above the rest and here they are:

1) My dad -
fathers day was yesterday and if you want to know who the biggest bro in the world is.... look no further then my genetic pool... my father is the definition of a bro and gave me his bro genes to pass on to the rest of the world! Dad has done so much stuff for me over my life I feel there is no better way to honour him then offering him the number 1 bro of the week award this week! Thanks Dad!

2) Kobe Bryant aka the Black Mamba -
FIVE NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS AND TWO NBA FINALS MVPS NOW!!! Kobe Bryant was a man on a mission this playoffs and proved that he still has that championship passion. People were putting him down and his Lakers came in to the playoffs as the third highest seed in the NBA behind the Cavs and Magic and people were saying this was LeBrons year to win... with the Boston Celtics help, Kobe was able to keep that status atop the mountain at least for another year (and I say he's gonna keep it for a few more years)... Kobe was a monster this playoffs and dominated throughout the playoffs.... even in the championship when he was having quiet games he was still putting up 30 a game... and in game 7... he truly showed he wanted it (moreso on defense than on offense with his 15 boards to offset his poor shooting performance). but black mamba... in honour of your fifth nba title and amazing playoff performance, you are the #2 bro of the week!

3) Ron Artest -
K - let me just say that any other week, this guy would be the number one bro of the week but he had some tough competition this week but Ron Artest, you are bro of the week #3.... lets start with the NBA championship.... Ron Artest was one of the biggest reasons the Lakers won game 7.... he hit a big 3 late in the game had 20 points and played amazing defense on Paul Pierce leading to several easy layups for the Lakers - without Ron Ron, odds are the Lakers would not have been in that game.

Now, lets go to his post game interviews.... I mean how bro of Ron was it to thank his psychiatrist? I have NEVER heard anyone thank their psychiatrist especially on nationally television.... and this came two weeks after his epic Queensbridge interview with Craig Sager! Then, after going for a meal with his family after the championship and having his daughter on his shoulders sleeping, Ron was asked if he was going to go to disneyland to celebrate. His response? "Screw Disneyland! I'm going to Compton!" Hahahahah such a bro thing to say..... He also introduced me to the word "hoodalize" and "freeballing" on the jimmy kimmel show

To top off Ron's week, he also released a rap song called "Champion" which actually is pretty good.... What a week for Ron Ron! All of the interviews are below along with the song... take a look!

The phony bugger compensates the activating follower.

and he was like baby, baby, baby nooooo!!!

Hah this is just like the funniest internet rumor so it needs to be posted here... justin bieber caught syphilis... maybe thats why his baby broke his heart for the first time.... always disclose potentially life threatening sexually transmitted diseases to your partners before you engage in sexual intercourse.... this was the most trending topic on google for the past few days.... so if you are wondering why twitter might be over capacity..... its probly got somin to do with justin bieber as the trending topic

hah follow one of these links for a good laugh

How Did Justin Bieber Get Syphilis
Justin Bieber Has Syphillis
How Justin Bieber Caught a Syphilis Rumor

Bro of the week

this weeks bro of the week was a pretty easy choice.... too bad i dont have a picture.... but the winner is: THAT COP THAT SAVED THE RAGER FROM SHUTTING DOWN!

Saturday night - throwing it down pretty hard at a kegger (shouts to leora for a good job hosting), holdin down the fort at pong - anyways we partied too hard and the cops come once to shut it down..... everyone goes inside and everything seems kosher....rite? well maybe an hour later another cop comes back with the directions to end the party and give tickets out to everyone but he was fuckin bro - there was enough weed in that room to get a hefty fine and he straight up told us he aint gonna look for any of that shit.... he basically jus came in, checked out the girls, and then chilled outside shooting the shit with us smokin bogeys for a little before going to help his bro.....i totally was going to ask him about his thoughts on cops icing bros but thot better of it.... but to not booking anyone and alllowing the peeps to chay on - i say u cop sir are the bro of the week!

Next Video!!!!

Whatsup everybody?!?! alright so i have come up with two great ideas for my next video and dont know which one to shoot first. as a result, i am coming to you, my fans and loyal supporters to help me decide.... just vote on the idea you would like me to make my next video on and whichever idea has the most votes will be the next video i make!!!

Bro of the Week!

Dammmmmmmmmmn!!!! Do i know how to throw it down at a party!!! Chayed from 1 in the afternoon till 5 in the morning!!! What a champ!!!! Had this awesome chayfest at my house.... good to see a lot of my friends that I hadnt seen in a while, catch some sun in the afternoon (yes, I am tanned like a mofo or a guido from the shore), play some drunken basketball (in the dark), show off my beach bod in my pool, and just fucking chay. There is nothing better then the feeling of summer and just being able to chay all day in the heat, maybe throw some meat on the barbeque, pound back a few brewskis, bust out beer pong by the pool, get those jamskis thrown on the radio.... you know how we do.... anyways, my chaying days this weekend made me want to reminisce on past chays and i know this is a little bit old, but i made this video a few months ago to show all of the fun partying and chaying i did in the past.... it kinda looks like something that would be played at my funeral but its still pretty awesome considering i suck with computers.... take a look and i hope you enjoy...



also, from my vegas trip, my bro andrew made this sick video from our awesome night out that we had partying on the strip.... take a look at it.... its so fucking money!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=686162270030&ref=mf

but this post is called bro of the week! the main thing i wanna do is talk about one of my bros and how he excelled this week at being the dominant alpha male that he is....people look up to this man and say "woah! does that guy know how to party!" - further, people think of this dude as a legend - as an icon - a mythical creature. stories have been told that sound like he comes straight out of a steven segal action flick.... he is the one, the only - Mark Donatelli!!!!!!



Let me paint the picture for you.... I chayed pretty hard starting at one in the afternoon....most people started chaying at around 6 or so..... by one oclock in the morning - everyone was asleep in the house except for me and DT - so what do we do? we definitely say "fuck this. the nite aint over... its only one oclock! i cant go to bed now...." so we start pounding down brewskis and continue the chay session! DT, as he is commonly referred to by those lucky enough to see him in the flesh, was a bpong champ, a little fish in the water, and a party animal, and a fucking night owl that would not let the party end at 1 in the morning... i mean seriously... what kind of parties end at one in the morning? the lame ones..... so mark saved me from having a lame party by making sure it went till the sun was rising!!! and for that chay session... you sir are the bro of the week.... oh! and not only did he party till the early mornin but he also chayed hard the ENTIRE day saturday too after that mega drunkfest.... u sir, are a winner!!

honorary mention goes to fox for being able to get up at like 3 in the morning and chay for a couple more hours with us!!!